An Honest Holiday Letter

By Troy Foster

This New Year's Eve - like others in the past - I'm sitting here reading the letters stuffed in many of the holiday cards we received.  I love them.  It's like reality TV.  A lot of hype, bragging, exaggeration, and some out and out lying.  Combined with a small, very small dose of substance and truth.  Of course that's not true of all of them and I sincerely hope that this doesn't result in us getting less of them next year.  Because I really do love them.  (Have to admit that the ones that are completely truthful, just give a basic rundown and pictures are cool - but not nearly the thrill the over-the-top ones provide.  The later ones are in my lap right now!)

But let's have a reality check.  If most of what I read is true, everyone's kid is the smartest, most wonderful child, on the Honor Roll, and enjoying much success in all sports.  And everyone's vacations were perfect, involved going to an island (or two) and a cruise.  All have been promoted or now lucky enough to be staying at home, and loving every minute of it - work and play.  Everyone's spouse is prince charming or a goddess unlike no other; or for the single folks, they couldn't be happier alone by choice - loving every minute of their freedom and would have it no other way.  They've lost weight, bought a new and bigger house (because bigger is always better), live in the safest neighborhood with the best schools, and are bffs with their neighbors.  

You know what I'm talking about.  You get them too.  Come on.  A lot of these folks (some of my closest friends and relatives) are full of it.  Now, don't get me wrong.  It's much better than reading "woe is me" letters, which I do not read more than once.  And, I'm all about seeing the silver lining - in almost everything.  But a silver lining is different than making everything I touch turn into silver and gold.  

From my perspective, shouldn't what happened in the last 12 months - without the exaggeration - be good enough?  What's the shame in having a moderately good year or feeling great that you made it through a hard one?  It's a bit of a bummer that it seems as though these over-the-top letters' authors think they need to "puff" for it to be a success, or to impress their readers.  

We don't write holiday letters, but if we did, it would go something like this:

Our 2011 was filled with a lot of laughs, challenges, but most of all memories.  Here are the highlights.

Luke and Henry are enjoying school.  Luke loves reading and does well.  Except on days that his anxiety is uncontrolled.  On those days, we've had to pry him out from under a water fountain because his new teacher freaked him out.  Henry really likes his special needs pre-school class; his teacher is awesome.  Though there is one boy in Henry's class (like last year) that bites, kicks, and is generally violent.  Henry is not dumb, he's befriended this kid.

Lily is not a huge fan of school and will do almost anything to try to avoid homework.  She also fights with her teacher - not physically like the kid in Henry's class - just attitude.  We've been working on that, and she is doing much better this fall.

Our last au pair was a nightmare.  Basically, she didn't watch the kids, let our 7 and 4 year old run away (really), slept after strapping our youngest (1) into the highchair, and fed our Henry (who is allergic to almost all foods) snacks three times a day.  So, she's gone and I'm staying at home part-time to watch them.  Hard job, but I like it so far.  Good time with the kids, gives me a new appreciation for a lot of things - like clean clothes, floors - anything - which we won't have for more than 5 minutes until 2028.  It's made me a little more of a slob than I'd like.  When I don't have time to shower, I don't.  The end.  I do make sure that my seizure and anti-anxiety meds are taken everyday though because that would be a problem.  I've also made more food - mostly cookies, cakes, and other sweets - than necessary - which has helped me gain weight and land on cholesterol meds.  But 2012 will make the difference.

While I work, the kids go to a preschool at our local church.  Eli is a bit of a manipulative monster - crocodile tears every day I leave and am told that stops, and becomes the "boss" of the class before I'm out of site.  Yep, we see that at home too.  He'll climb on top of things, look at me, smile (you know exactly what it looks like), and yells "get down" to himself.  He eats like an ox, which is refreshing, given that our other kids don't eat.

Kristen is doing great at the firm.  It has grown and shrunk, and then grown again.  We've had our normal crap at work - not worth commenting on.  She's running for Congress.  Oh, and I wrote a book (Three Candles); second one on the way.  I'd love it if you buy it (publicist would kill me if I didn't say that).  We've been working a lot on Henry's Hope too and helped quite a few kids this year, but so many more that need it.  Blah, blah.

Kristen and I spend a lot less "alone" time together.  Kristen is still hot, and thinks that I am.  We have managed to squeeze in some dates when we get a babysitter.  And that will be more frequent when we get respite care for Henry via the State Program here that Henry qualifies for.  Awesome program.  

On the friend front, mixed bag.  We have some great ones.  Found out we have a few fair weathered ones. And, some that we thought were friends, but never were.  Again, mixed bag.  Some people are great.  Some people really suck.  I know that I do sometimes.

We have and use our health insurance - frequently.  Henry and Luke both have the same condition, and so the doc appointments are plentiful.  But they let us combine them, which saves a lot of time.  They've had ups and downs (Luke is back in glasses but Henry gained weight last month).  But, all in all, they are happy.  So are we.  Everyday is an adventure.  Some days are great.  Some days suck.  But, we are happy with what it is.  Good enough for us!

Everyone's should be good enough for them too.  But if that happened, I wouldn't get these gems.  So torn.  Happy New Year!