Attention Job Applicants: PMS Talk, Snot, and Bathroom References Not Good First Impressions

Maybe they never had common sense, but in this economy, you would think that there would be a little extra effort to find it or fake it.  Not from what I can tell.  Here are the top 3 of the recent past, and a little advice to applicants:

1.  A woman started off the interview by informing me that "I am on my period," and suggested that I take her performance in the interview and double it.  Aside from lacking judgment, did she not plan on menstrating again?  I almost asked.

2.  When I asked an applicant how he was, he told me "much better after relieving myself."  Funny that he thought saying "relieving" himself instead of "taking a piss" made it fine.  As if we talk like that to people that we know well, much less strangers that are trying to assess our judgment.

3.  During her first day of training, our new administrative assistant brought in her previous month's phone bill for reimbursement.  After explaining our policy, she told me that she had never written a check before so "you need to school me on that."  When I discovered that she'd stolen a bunch of office supplies that night, I called to let her know that she didn't need to come back in.  Well, her phone had been disconnected.  Guess she really needed that reimbursement.

And, in general, I just don't understand how people dress, act, and look in interviews now.  I sound old (and maybe at 40, I am), but I remember that it wasn't ok for someone to dress like they're interviewing at a brothel - unless they were.  It didn't used to be acceptable to wipe your nose with your hand, cough without covering your mouth, or smell bad during an interview.  That's not on the checklist for getting a job.  But there must be a memo out there that I didn't get.  And, if someone responds to my "do you have any questions" softball with tell me about the culture or "no, you answered them all," I am going to throw myself out a window.  On the culture thing, our business is pretty progressive and is focused on a real work-life balance; so, I'm proud of the culture.  But when most people ask it so directly, it means "I'm not going to have to work hard am I?"  You can get the answer in a different way.

Though we truly may have answered all of a candidates questions, come up with something, something, anything.  We're asking the question to see if you care, know about us, or want to learn.  Just looking at your effort - not the substance.

To those that have or are applying for jobs in this economy, I wish you luck.  It is a tough market.  But, if you can clear the hurdles above (low bar), you are half way there.  If you still have trouble and need a job in one of the cities our companies are in, drop me a line!