Father’s Day: A Couple of Unique Things To Share

When many think of Father’s Day, traditional celebratory things come to mind.  A Sunday BBQ.  Maybe a dinner or lunch out at a favorite restaurant.  And gifts, cards, and cake as a gesture of appreciation.  Those things are nice, and gratitude generally is welcome.  I always read articles around this time of year about strained father-child relationships, and the need to repair those before it’s too late.  Somewhat thematic for Father’s Day.

But for me, the time limitations are different.  Two of our sons are dying.  They have a rare condition that is degenerative, for which there is no cure.  And the rarity of the disease makes their life spans completely unpredictable.  Today, the youngest of these two is experiencing breathing problems and we’ll take him in to see if he has another lung infection.  The eldest is running around like the Energizer Bunny.  For now.

So, I have traveled (and am traveling) down a difficult road to learn two very valuable lessons.  First, being a father is the most important, precious, and rewarding honor that anyone could ask for.  And, it comes with great responsibility. Four little ones look to me (and my wife) to protect them, to guide them, to listen and assist them – through life – however long or short, however challenging or challenge-free.  Most importantly, they need without having to ask for, my unconditional love and affection.  And, they always will need that.

The second lesson is that each day with our kids is sacred.  Whatever the end result, the time I have with my boys on this Earth will be cut significantly short.  Though I still hold out hope for a cure or miracle, I don’t delude myself.  But I don’t dwell or wallow either.  We make the choice – each day – not to let that control our lives.  We live each day to the fullest.  We create memories now – rather than putting things off.  We have all of our dinners together.  We talk a lot.  We have adventures together.  And most important, we laugh a lot.  We also tell each other how much we love and care for the other.  The random “I love you’s” are heard frequently in our house – for no reason at all – other than the sincere and heart-felt love. 

A couple of nights ago, our son (Henry) wasn’t feeling well.  After laying with him, holding him for a few minutes, and talking about dinosaurs and spies, Henry grabbed my face in mid-conversation, looked up at me, and said “I love you, Daddy.”  Those moments are invaluable.

I may have fewer Father’s Days with the boys than many other dads do, but all of the days that we do have are guaranteed to be full and rich.  I encourage you all to make all of your days that way!

Happy Father’s Day.