Don't Nair Me

by Troy Foster

I’m the worst when it comes to practical jokes.  Don’t get me wrong.  My ideas and execution are both killer.  But, sometimes I take it a little too far.  Some refer to it as prison mentality.  If someone “gets” me, I’m going to get them back and they may not survive.  The line between funny and over the top or inappropriate becomes a little blurry for me.

As an example, an old roommate of mine were in a practical joke war.  It was short-lived.  I don’t even remember what his initial salvo was, but my response was to put my Great Dane’s poop in a baggie (with holes slit in it) in his desk at work – hidden behind some important-looking books.  People wondered why he smelled so badly; he didn’t discover it for over a week.

Again, his retort is somewhat fuzzy to me – I just know that he retaliated.  My response was to put Nair in his shampoo.  You know that stuff that women use to remove hair?  Yes, same stuff.  I wasn’t being mean or malicious.  I thought it was funny, and appropriate.  From the time that I poured the Nair into the bottle right up until the point where my roommate emerged from the bathroom with patches of his hair gone in clumps.  He didn’t think it was too funny.  Neither did I when I thought about it.

But that incident, nor the countless others, have helped me develop a filter of any sort.  So, you have been warned.  Don’t dare me to a practical joke challenge.  Or you might find yourself “naired.”